While the time leading up to your wedding can be stressful and emotionally taxing, don’t go hormonal on a bridesmaid who hasn’t bought her shoes yet if what’s really upsetting you is the fact you’re $5,000 over on your budget. Treat her like the friend she is! To help you get off on the right foot with your bridesmaids, take to heart my list of dos and don’ts.
Don’t put too much pressure or too many expectations on your bridesmaids. You’ve asked them to be in your wedding because they are special to you. Don’t make it another job for them.
Do start things off right with a great dinner or get-together.
Don’t expect your bridesmaids to bring a gift to every wedding-related event. In fact, you shouldn’t necessarily expect them to attend every wedding-related event. Remember, being a bridesmaid involves an enormous outlay of funds.
Do budget enough for gifts that show you appreciate all they’ve done for you.
Don’t behave badly. This is a very stressful and emotional time in your life and you don’t want to ruin a lifelong relationship.
Do provide sufficient information regarding what type of jewelry, hairstyle, and nail color you’d like to see on the wedding day. If you take everyone out for manicures and hire a hairstylist for the wedding, you can budge on the more delicate areas. Gifting your attendants with jewelry, a handbag, or a wrap is not only generous but also a great way to exercise some control over style.
Don’t email your graphic artist bridesmaid the day before she leaves for your wedding, asking her to design your programs in the next twelve hours.
Do give your bridesmaids plenty of notice regarding dates and deadlines. Though the maid of honor is often in charge of this area, she needs to get directions from you in time. If you want them to attend a fitting with you, help you assemble gift bags for out-of-towners, or have their shoes dyed a particular shade, give them a heads up.
Don’t choose bridesmaids dresses that only a runway model could wear.
Do consider the various dress sizes, body types, and skin tones of your bridesmaids when choosing a style and color for their dresses. While finding an outfit that’s universally flattering is virtually impossible, there are some choices that are kinder than others. And unless you’re paying for the dress, consider their budget limitations. If you can find a comparable style in a less expensive fabric, go for it.
Like I said many times before, this time in your life is emotional and can be at times stressful. Take time to listen to your bridesmaids when they’re expressing options, especially where it concerns their attire. These are your best friends you choose to guide you through your wedding, so give them plenty of time to enjoy the festivities as well. You want them to have wonderful memories of your wedding day too.
Best of Wishes,